There are two steps to this part of the process. One step is asking God for forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Our confession comes before His forgiveness. In Psalm 51, David prays for God’s mercy after committing some pretty serious sexual sin. In his prayer, David asks God to wash and cleanse him, blot out his sins, and give him a clean heart. Praying this type of prayer is so crucial for you to move forward. God wants to pick you up and clean you off, take away your past sin and see you as a new person. Will you ask him to?

The second step is a commitment to change your behavior, which is more clearly defined as repentance. We see an example of this in the way David not only turned from his sin but also turned towards a righteous life. Turning away from sin and pursuing a righteous lifestyle allows God to work in our lives and brings His power into our problems.

You don’t need to tell your secrets to everyone, but you need to tell them to someone. It’s important that you take the power of having hidden sin away and shine light on any actions you’re committing to stop. 1 John 1:5-7 says, “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” Being transparent will act as a safeguard by allowing other people to truly see your actions and help protect you from falling back into old behaviors.

Who you pick is just as important as what you tell them. Talk to someone who you know is solid in their walk with God and someone who isn’t struggling with the same issue you are. Let them know everything as well as what your plan is for stopping. If you’re married it’s important to let your partner know what’s going on and what you’re doing about it (you may want to talk to a pastor or a counselor about this first to help you prepare for that conversation).

Cleaning it out means getting rid of the junk that causes you to act out. Be honest and ask your support system, friends, pastor, or your husband/wife for feedback on what needs to be thrown out. If you can’t view social media without stumbling, get rid of social media. If you can’t have internet without stumbling, get rid of your internet. Serious growth is going to take serious sacrifice.

Colossians 3:5 encourages us to not only get rid of our “trash” but to put it to death! What are you willing to do to get pornography out of your life?

When do you look at pornography? What are the circumstances? Is it when you’re up late at night, or when you feel lonely? Do you tend to view more on a Saturday off or during a long shift? Are you more tempted to use after a stressful conversation or day at work? Knowing your triggers will take away their ability to surprise you. Create a plan that takes your triggers into account and gives you a way out when you need it.

As mentioned before, just cutting out pornography use will only work for so long.

Even if you’re able to quit, not knowing why you use often leads to using pornography again or finding a new addiction to take its place. Talking to a pastor or counselor starts the process of sifting through your life and bringing awareness to why you do what you do. As you uncover the root causes for your pornography use, it becomes easier to work through them, an opportunity you will not have if quitting pornography is your only focus.