Mondays, 7-9PM, High School Room, $5/door

What’s Your Style? - 3 Week series
We often bring styles of relating into our relationships which are familiar and comfortable but not necessarily good for our relationships. Sometimes one person is reluctant to let go of old habits or even to admit that they exist. The best relationships are those which provide space for both people to be themselves, while encouraging each other to grow and improve. Don’t let an unhealthy relational style ruin an otherwise good relationship. We will unpack two styles per night - so join us for the next three weeks as we examine the different styles and how to approach each one to get the results you desire.

Relationship Styles - Part 1
November 10, 2008- Dr. John Townsend
The Avoider - This style is characterized by the “silent treatment.”  Avoiders may appear to listen as they skillfully dodge confronting any issue head on - to your perpetual frustration! Attempting to resolve issues with a direct approach drives this type further underground; they might even resort to finding subtle ways to irritate you, to keep you off balance and off topic. We can help you get your silent partner talking about the important topics.

The Blaster - Blasters tend to keep everyone off balance by operating in defense mode; they are ready to strike at the slightest provocation. You never really know where the relational land mines are until you step on one - and then look out! A seemingly minor incident is escalated to something of major proportions.  You know that underneath this volatile exterior there lies a loving person - but something seems to keep them agitated and overreacting. We can help you defuse your blaster and finally get a calm response.

Relationship Styles - Part 2
November 17, 2008- Dr. John Townsend
The Know-it-all - This type can exhaust you by the intensity and energy they put into being right on an issue - every issue, actually. Sometimes you wonder if they even believe what they are saying- but you know they will never admit they could be wrong, heaven forbid!  You have tried to present your ideas in a variety of ways, but these are brushed aside as they make their points. Let us guide you in responding to this type!

The Score Keeper - This person keeps careful tabs on who did what, when and to whom. They keep a mental log of offenses, some real and some imagined. When it comes to others, they have a remarkable memory - but when it comes to their own misdeeds, they seem to have remarkable memory lapses. Since you are not as good at scorekeeping (nor do you want to be), it’s hard to know how to handle this type. We can help you keep the conversation on a smooth path where you can resolve issues.

Relationship Styles - Part 3
November 24, 2008- Dr. John Townsend
The Eeyore - We all know people who put a negative spin on just about everything - much like Eeyore, the donkey from "Winnie the Pooh"! This type seems to have a string of reasons for not doing things or why things just won’t work out. You'll hear them say: "I’ll just stay home; I never have fun anyway." We may try to encourage these people out of their downer mind set - yet they persist in their negative thinking.  What’s behind this tendency to expect the worst?  We can shed some light here and perhaps help you help the Eeyores in your life to lighten up and enjoy life.

The Cling-On - The cling-on is often a very well-intentioned and loving person - but their intense need to be close can truly squelch our desire for this person. They resist giving us space and constantly check in with us, taking our emotional temperature. They really don’t like to be left out of anything, so you may find yourself making excuses for why you need to go somewhere alone - you just need some breathing room. It’s not that you don’t care for them; they are smothering you and your affection for them. We will help get the space you need while still keeping the connection.